*twiddles thumbs.

the healing is unfamiliar so sometimes i don't know how to process what's happening so i react or cry or sleep or over eat or keep to myself

detachment is unfamiliar

feels like i'm walking a tight rope but i finally feel the step

i know what i want because i have to pull myself out

not complaining has really put things into perspective for me. i feel more matured.

i feel like an adult 

i just hope that i'm doing it right this time.

trying everything in a different outside my norm because my norm wasn't working

(sigh)

i'm too hard on myself

this has been a process 

oo, i feel detached

that's sad

it's so far in the distant, that it's blurry.

unbelievable

but things can only go up from here

but sometimes, i feel just a little brush of the joy & cry for them. 

those lovers.

"what happened, had to happen."

apparently but oof sometimes i cry.

growth. 

another lesson learned.

*sigh