Blessed

Last week, I was given a promotion by Katie herself. This is my second promotion in 5 months.

Before I get into how blessed I am, let's talk again about the reoccurring theme that is in my life. Maturity. Prior to landing in the current position that I'm in (the one with better pay and responsibilities that I actually want to do) I complained the entire way but I worked so hard. I WORKED SO HARD. I pitched show ideas, I watched what I pitched come to fruition without any thanks or being offered to help out creatively. I put in 14/15 hour days weekly. 8 hours? What does that even mean anymore. I never worked so hard for something. I complained. I cried. I didn't understand why I didn't have what I wanted when I wanted it. I didn't see the growth, the maturing that was so necessary prior into moving into this position. I didn't see the advantages that I would have over my peers by waiting for the perfect time to come in and shine. I only saw tantrums and tear-filled glazes over my little eyes. I only saw tired eyes in the mirror and I only felt the pain and frustration of being overlooked, ignored and hurt.

Only when I finally stopped fighting-when I just said ok, there's nothing else I can do because I did my best, I just give it over to God, did things work out for me. When I found peace and somehow accepted my situation, did my blessing show itself. Don't get my wrong, I didn't become contempt, but I thought I should eat my words. I wanted to enjoy the climb. I knew that I wouldn't be at this basic level, making less than minimum wage situation forever. I even made a 5-year-plan to help me stay sane and on path. It visually looked better. And can I tell you how long 5 months feels? I got my first promotion in February and here it is July and I'm moving on. It took me one year to get to a place that I wanted to be in. Now my maturity growth can match my intelligent growth.

I owe it all to God. I've grown so much closer to Him since I decided to turn my life around on my 23rd birthday. I've made some mistakes but it's all about growing and maturing. God brought me to pain so that I know to never go back down that path again. Letting go and letting God handle things is really hard for me. I'm a dive right in rather babysteps kind of girl. I know how I feel and I know what I want and I don't understand being patient sometimes. But that's really changing. Everything that I want I seriously have to wait for. It's just a burden of being a part of the microwave culture/generation.

I'm still learning and God is still testing. I was blessed with a new position, more money and responsibility, but in my personal life, I've encountered a lot of losses. Losses that I should be familiar and used to but I can never be used to it. It's hard to lose certain relationships to silly things. It's hard to be degraded and torn down by the ones who should uplift you. It's hard to be abandoned time and time again. To be let go without a fight or any indication that they even loved you. I've been through a lot and I'm not going to let people's words or actions define me. But it's getting old and I still can't get used to it. But we all have our struggles right? It's all about what you think is worth fighting, growing and moving on for.

I am blessed and I am happy with my new position. Finally. :) I was so shocked that KATIE made it happen. That's pretty major. Just makes it feel 100000x better.