Oh Boyyyy

Last night my best friend met up with me in the city for dinner. :) I was so happy that he came! It's hard to get my Jersey friends to come over to the city at times especially to just meet for dinner after work and he did :) I almost forgot how nice people are and how it feels when someone actually cares and does things with and for you. LOL I'm serious! I truly forget how it feels. I'm so used to not doing those things with someone other than Nikki and Shataya. Its crazy! Its like Ive forgotten how to enjoy myself because I'm so used to being a fool and begging. It feels good to be around people who actually care and like you and WANT TO BE AROUND YOU. But whatever. No need to talk about it. Moving on.

So as usual, we had a great time! Laughter, of course drinks and good food. My best friend keeps me pretty grounded and lol I'm not sure how much, but he just listens and I need that. But he always gives me advice that reminds me of things I need to forget! His "guy perspective" just doesn't help. I mean it makes sense completely and that's what's bothersome. I'm so understanding, I feel myself not lowering my standards but trying to make things better by making what I feel less of a priority. I'm too empathetic at times.I'm sure this is confusing lol and I apologize. But I told him when he was trying to make sense of some things that seem to be a constant confusion to me to just stop. Let's just move on lol I really need to stop caring and just move on.

I was hanging out with another friend on Tuesday, and she told me that I'm too nice, too naive and I need to stop being a good girl. She says it's annoying hahaha and she doesn't understand why I don't understand certain things. She says I should know things by now but I don't know, I just don't. But that's another entry. Funny because my mom caught that same friend taking my clothes when I was at work! LMAO! She is crazy.

Oh and of course the healing of the nation has been pretty cool lately.

This morning I woke up and I felt pretty good. I know what I want and I know that it all changes with me. I just feel like I have something to look forward to again. Not quite sure what that is, but I'm happy. I feel like I have a second chance.

Maybe I'm just tired.

This morning on the subway, this old lady was staring at me. It was an intense stare down and I wasn't backing off. I had my headphones on and "Wanksta" came on and I started mouthing to words to her as we were staring at each other. LMAO I was calling this old lady a wanksta! But she didn't look away. She took it.

Thug.