Honesty Hour

Jealousy.

Now first off I am not jealous of material things or other girls in terms of looks and what they have. No that's not me. I'm thankful for what I have and who I am. Do I wish I was as rich as the next person, sure, but it's never jealousy like that. I don't wake up wishing to be someone else or having what they have.

However, I do have a small bit of jealousy in me that needs to leave. I just feel so territorial over certain things and people. Mainly people. Of course it's not the "HEY! that's MY best friend" but it's just certain things and situations that I find myself jealous of. Maybe it depends on the person.

Yeah I think that's what it is.

Maybe it's that I want to do something with you and you do it with someone else.

But is that even jealously? Or just anger?

Not sure, but I need to get some kind of control over it all.

I go out with tons of different people. Men. Women. Old. Young. and No one ever says anything about it.

hmm maybe they should. ehhh they probably just don't care.

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE WHO CARES?

do i really? you know deep down, i'm so petty, and i'm really mean but i don't unleash that. maybe i should. i fear that if i do, i'll lose some people in my life. that's not the role i'm supposed to play supposedly.

Both my sisters have told me that I'm gaining weight.