.forever young.

.pssh.
i hear all the time "bianca you're still young" but why does it feel as if i live life as if i'm 35? why am i taking care of my mother and my little sister? why do i have to be the rock for my grandmother and aunt? why don't i speak to my father? why doesn't he care to see how his baby is doing? why doesn't text me or call me? why is my mother so weak? why doesn't she listen to me? why do i have to live life the way she wants me to do it? why is she jobless still? why do i have to save up everything i have so i can be financially cleared next semester? why did my stepfather leave? why doesn't he want me? why do i deal with this? why am i here? and i'm only* 19?

.i didn't ask to be here. but i'm here. living life the way it was dealt to me.

.i don't want to be judged. i don't want to be felt sorry for.

`.i just want my youth. my innocence. to live care free.