.so that's really been in my mind these past couple of days. this whole poker face that i put on. i mean i put it on when i have to but is it really worth it if at the end of the day he can't read it?- he can't read me.
.that makes me think about a lot of females that i know. i mean people say that they are misunderstood, ignored and all that but what is that you are giving out to the world to see? are you putting up a facade so that others will be impressed? and it's crazy because i see so many of my friends poker faces and all i do is shake my head and sigh but now i'm thinking, wait- what does my poker face read?
.it must read something if things are going the way that they are. and i mean i don't want to sit here and blame the person that is reading the wrong information. i'm not that kind of girl. i don't like to sit and blame another person because to me, it's like i don't trust them. when i think about maybe he's just saying this, or she's just doing that.. i hate not trusting. so when i feel like people aren't reading me correctly, i have to check my poker face and if my face is the reflection of how i feel and they are still whack about it, then i know that it is their fault for the issue rather than mine.
.ugh. idk if this makes any sense to you- but it's just been lingering in my mind. maybe i should take down my poker face and show ..me.. but because of my blind eyes to the real world, i'm afraid that i'd get hurt again..
arrrggghhhh.
.pain is pleasure right?.
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