.&& i know it kills him inside - to know that i am happy with some other guy.

.so if this is your first time reading my blog, or you just simply don't want to read all of what i've written and discussed since august o8 [yeah been up here for a while ;)] most of what i speak about are experiences that happend to me as well as experiences that my friends have shared with me. i know it seems like i'm always dwelling on the hurtful past but i'm not. a lot of what i speak about is how i feel, but most of it isn't. i'm not lke suicidal or anything lol, i understand pain is apart of growth which is apart of life. sooo with that being said. this is what's on my mind -- or at least what i can remember to write about. ;]

so. does it reallllly kill him inside to know that i'm happy with some other guy? you know most of the time we females are discussing how much they did us wrong and how we are simply just so torn and heart broken, but even though guys may be able to do us wrong, does it truly kill them inside to see us move on? how do we even know that it hurt them to hurt us when they were hurting us? you know some guys do what they do and they are truly confused while they are doing it? that they are searching for that person to be that first lady of the church they call life? being a guy is hard and i'm going to stand by my man and let him know he's great and everything i need and more; that he's brilliant and the knowledge that he attains adds so much character to him; that he's going to be a excellent father one day to a little girl or boy that will adore him; that he's sexy in everything he does and nothing makes him less than great in my eyes; that he's going to accomplish so much because he is simply t h a t* dude. lol i got carried away, but anyways they are searching for that girl so they mess up and blah blah.

BUT BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING! does it truly absolutely kill him that i'm happy with someone else? that even though he may possess all those bomb qualities i've stated. he just wasn't great enough. i believe guys do feel this way. even if they are the biggest jerks, the most rudest person, such an idiot, theee biggest liar, the player, alll of that! it's killing him. they are just genius' that can't show emotions!! ugh.! i'm soo jealous.

i wish i could wear emotions the way a dude can.