.she's got her own thing, that's why i love her.

.really guys? do you really love a female that's independent? it's so funny because i'm independent. i work two jobs and i'm currently paying bills and i'm about to be paying my own car note and car insurance, yet i'm single. i've loved two guys who have girl friends at the moment and even when we started talking or whatever and yet noone has ever been my boyfriend. i stand at 19 years old and have been single my whole life. is a guy really ready to embrace a woman that doesn't need him to do everything, and isn't totally dependent on him? is it scary for the man to accept that? i just don't get it. here i am working on making myself a great woman, and an excellent wife. i can cook, i enjoy working so i don't have to rely on spending someone else's money, i go to school, pay my bills on time, i don't even have to talk to you everyday even if my heart really wants to, yet i'm all alone and have been for some time. i mean right now i don't really think i want a boyfriend, but i think i've come to that feeling or conclusion rather, because i've gone this long without one. without someone really wanting me enough to make me theirs. miss independent? and i don't try to be independent. i just have noone to come up to the plate and stand by my side. i have to deal with the lonliness and even being the other girl no matter who the guy seems to be while i'm this independent woman. and it seems that the girlfriends of these guys are just so dependent on them or so blind by these fools actions!! ugh! i'm really begining to get fustrated by this. guys want an independent woman yet are with the insecure ones. it's not fair to me.

.I KNOW A GIRL [;)]who's talking to this guy with a child. he's telling her he's loved her since highschool and here they are in college and he has a 5 month year old child. throughout all the years of loving her, he never made her his and now he's spitting all kinds of game and is even dropping the LOVE BOMB! he still won't step up to it. why must she remain in the dark or on the back burner. he says he's not with the child's mother yet he's afraid to mention her because of the baby's mother. if you knew you'd had all those issues buddy, then why have sex with this GIRL unprotected?! or if you loved this girl as you said you did, why risk your life like that? so here my friend is falling for this guy with the baby because he's spitting all the right stuff and where is she? hanging on to deep words with shallow meanings. SMH. i mean i tell her all the time to let it go, but it's pretty hard for because it's not like she has guys knocking at her door like everyone thinks she does and she just got out of something were she found out the guy she'd fallen for had a girlfriend the whole time. she asks me everyday, is she a magnet for guys already in a relationship. she's named herself a mistress. but i just came to a realization, no matter how good their words may be, their actions should be better. and if they are willing to step out of their relationships with girlfriends they've had since 9-1oth grade or the mother of their child, why wouldn't they step out on you. you can do better bianca.oops i mean friend.

.i'm done. it's days like this and realizations that make me want to disappear.. and that brings me to my next post.