.baby i'm selfish; i want you to myself i can't help it.

.have you ever been in something where that other person was selfish* while you were selfless*? it's a hard thing to go through. one person is giving and giving and making the effort while the other is taking and taking and only making it convienent for them*. i think that's the hardest thing that i've ever had to go through. loving someone and watching them treat you in such a way that you don't deserve but you can't stop loving them because you've already been shown their greatness* but the timing is just wrong. but yet; they continue to keep you around no matter how far you go, because in the end, though they don't see it; they do indeed love you. and to them you are incredibly beautiful.

`it took me a while to understand that not everyone is ready to love as i may be. it is natural for a woman or a young woman at that, to be ready to love. while guys and boys aren't immeadiately ready to jump the broom and be with the one they are destined for. though it sucks, like james brown sang "this is a man's world". as a woman i've learned to live my life according to the man that my heart loves, the man that my heart smiles and beats for. though my eyes may cry and i may not understand why he does the things he does, i have to understand he may not be ready to give me his love because right now at this very time and moment, his love for me isn't as great as it can be. thinking that way, has gotten me by. slowly.. but surely. i continue to love and pray even though at times i can't stand him.

.however that doesn't justify any actions that shouldn't be made. just because he isn't ready to love me now doesn't mean i'll sit around and watch him do what he wants and hurt me. shoot- i'm the fairest of them all. &they don't say that for nothing.

[title from Selfish by Slum Village -qouted directly from John Legend]